


a blowtorch is a blowtorch

by hailingstars



Series: someone gets hurt (febuwhump 2021) [21]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Baking, Domestic Fluff, FebuWhump2021, Fluff, Gen, Hurt Peter Parker, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, burned - Freeform, that's the fic lmao, these two are a disaster in the kitchen okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 15:42:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29636895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hailingstars/pseuds/hailingstars
Summary: “I have to go into the office for a couple of hours,” she announced. She looked down at Morgan. “You know what that means, right, Morgan?”“Mmhmm,” said Morgan. “That I’m the only one in the house left with common sense.”“Exactly,” she told her. “So it’s your job to keep your daddy and Peter from doing stupid things.”“I can try, mommy, but you know they aren’t very good at listening.”ORPeter and Tony try to recreate something they’ve seen on a baking show, and it turns into a disaster when Tony gets out the blowtorch.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: someone gets hurt (febuwhump 2021) [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2138436
Comments: 39
Kudos: 204
Collections: febuwhump 2021





	a blowtorch is a blowtorch

The cold wind raged against the lakehouse, and Peter pulled his throw blanket closer. It was patterned with Disney princesses and had pink fluff around the edges. He stared at Tony with envy. 

He’d stolen the thicker, cozier throw blanket when he’d arrived down to the living room, along with the control of the remote, citing that it was his privilege as savior of the universe. 

Tony switched on Netflix, clicked on a baking competition, and propped his feet up on the coffee table. 

“Pepper banned us from watching this,” Peter told him. “And you’re supposed to keep your feet off the coffee table.”

“What are you? A snitch?” asked Tony.

“If it gets me my blanket back, then yes,” said Peter, crossing his arms. The living room was drafty, he was cold, and Tony was annoying. 

“Guess I’ll just tell May how late you were out with MJ.”

Peter frowned. “That’s petty.” 

“Snitches get snitched on,” said Tony. “I don’t make the rules.” 

“You do actually, and they’re stupid ones.” 

Tony pelted a throw pillow at him. It soared through the air and hit Peter directly on his head, messing up his already messy-from-sleep hair. Peter was about to retaliate by digging Morgan’s toy car out of the couch cushion and chunking it at him, but Pepper walked into the room, bringing with her the end to their petty fight. 

She was dressed in her office attire, achieving the accomplishment of being the only person in the household to make it out of their pajamas that day. Morgan had followed Pepper into the living room, and frowned at Peter, probably for using her blanket. 

“I have to go into the office for a couple of hours,” she announced. She looked down at Morgan. “You know what that means, right, Morgan?” 

“Mmhmm,” said Morgan. “That I’m the only one in the house left with common sense.” 

“Exactly,” she told her. “So it’s your job to keep your daddy and Peter from doing stupid things.” 

“I can try, mommy, but you know they aren’t very good at listening.” 

“Preaching to the choir, baby.” 

“I resent that,” said Tony. 

His eyes were glazed over while he watched the contestants use a blowtorch to put the finishing touches on some smore brownies, and Peter got a horrifying premonition about how the rest of the day was going to play out. 

“Please remove your feet from the coffee table,” said Pepper. She kissed the top of Tony’s head, hugged Morgan goodbye, and left them, but not before Tony removed his War Machine patterned slippered feet from the coffee table. 

“Told you so,” said Peter. 

Tony threw another pillow, but that time, Peter managed to dodge it by ducking. 

*

It happened just like it always happened. One minute Peter had been warning Tony about watching the forbidden baking show, and the next, just a few minutes after Pepper had left them, he was completely sucked in. 

“We could make that,” said Peter, watching two contestants decorate a cake shaped like a tombstone. It was a halloween themed episode. Peter’s favorite. 

“Of course we could,” said Tony. “And it’d be ten times better than that one.” 

That was always how it started, too. By making these statements that would later be proven laughably false. Peter could see how this was going to end badly and with a messy kitchen, and probably a lecture from Pepper, but he couldn’t stop himself. Neither could Tony.

“You know what would be better than making the cake,” said Tony. “The smores brownies.” 

“Yeah,” said Peter. “But we’d need a blow torch.” 

“I have a blow torch.” 

“You have one for, like, tech stuff. You need a food blow torch.” 

“I’m pretty sure a blowtorch is a blowtorch, kid,” Tony told him. 

Morgan popped out from under the couch, like the little spy she was. “I’m gonna tell mommy you’re trying to burn the house down.” 

“Morgunna, light of my life,” said Tony. “Don’t you want some brownies?” 

“Umm,” she said. “Can we put gummy worms on them?” 

“We can put gummy worms on some of them, sure.” 

“Yayyy!!” She pulled herself up off the ground. “Let’s go set the house on fire!” 

*

Peter had been the one tasked with disappearing into the garage and locating the blow torch. Yeah, it was a bad idea, but Peter loved bad ideas almost as much as he loved sandwiches from Delmar’s. 

He grabbed some safety goggles as well as the torch. Just in case. He had learned it was always better to treat the kitchen with as much caution as he treated the lab and the workshop, especially if Tony was the only adult around and the person operating the stove. 

“Really, kid?” asked Tony, as Peter strapped the goggles around his eyes. 

“First rule of workshop safety,” said Peter, before turning his attention to the drawers, pulling out spatulas, measuring cups, and any other essential baking tool.

“And you say my rules are stupid.” 

“That  _ was  _ your rule.” Peter left out the part about Tony making that rule after Peter had almost accidentally poked his eyeball out with a screwdriver. 

Tony gave Morgan a pack of gummy bears, and told her to keep lookout for Pepper. Peter didn’t see how that would matter. The kitchen would probably be so wrecked any warning Morgan could give them to her arrival wouldn’t be long enough to cover their crimes. 

Their baking started without any trouble. 

It was a mess, but whenever they were in the kitchen, that was unavoidable. Peter was just happy nothing horrific had happened, like that time Tony burnt his eyebrows off, or that time Peter slipped and fell on the whipped cream that had somehow gotten spread out all over the kitchen floor. 

So, it was a miracle when Tony pulled the brownies out of the oven to cool, and nobody had been hurt. 

Then it was time to get the marshmallows out, and Tony picked up the blow torch. 

Peter was spreading out the marshmallows on the brownies when his hands felt hot. It took him a couple of seconds to register that Tony was setting his hands on fire. Tony, who switched on the blow torch without paying attention, and didn’t realize he’d had it pointed at Peter’s hands until he yelped, ran towards the sink, switched on the cold water and let it over his burnt hands. 

“You burnt me,” said Peter.

Tony switched off the blowtorch. “You put your hands in the way!”

“My hands were there first!”

“Jesus, kid,” said Tony. He walked over and offered a hand on the shoulder for support. 

“Dadddddyy,” said Morgan, coming into the kitchen. She stopped, and stared at the both of them huddled over the kitchen sink. “What are you guys doing?”

“Your dad tried to set me on fire.” 

“Oh,” said Morgan, with a shrug. “What’s new?” 

“Morgan,” said Tony. “Is there a reason you came in here?” 

“Oh yeah! Mommy’s here.” 

Pepper appeared as if on cue. Peter watched as her eyes moved from the brownie batter on the ceiling, the cocoa powder spread out over the counter and the floor, and finally, the lump of butter sitting on the floor, by her feet. 

She released a long, weary sigh. “What is going on? Why is there a blowtorch in the kitchen?” 

“Daddy tried to set Peter on fire,” said Morgan. “Should we tell Aunt May on him?” 

“Next time I leave I’m hiring a babysitter.” 

“That’s completely fair,” said Peter, still savoring the cold water hitting his crispy hands. After taking a blowtorch to his hands, adult supervision didn’t sound so bad. 

*

Pepper ordered Tony to clean the kitchen up, sentenced the blowtorch to a lifetime imprisonment in the garage, and told Peter he’d better get some rest on the couch, giving him a cool pack to hold onto. 

The living room was empty when he wandered into it, and Peter took his favorite spot on his favorite couch, reclaimed the remote, and mostly, reclaimed the thicker, cozier blanket. 

He turned off the baking show, convinced that they were evil, and possessed people with impossible ideas just like pinterest. 

He was halfway through some horror film when Tony joined him. This time he picked up the Disney blanket without complaint, and left the remote alone. 

“Sorry about your hands, kid.” 

“That’s okay,” said Peter. “That’s what I get for going into the kitchen with you.” 

“I’m not that bad.”

Peter dropped the cold pack on his chest, and lifted his pitch red, already peeling hands up, putting them on display for Tony to see. 

“Okay, I’m pretty bad.” 

“No more baking shows,” said Peter. 

“What about Kitchen Nightmares?” 

“Only if Gordon Ramsay can come over and scream at you.”

“Wouldn’t mind that, actually.” 

“It isn’t a baking show, anyway.” 

It was as if a light switched on in Peter’s head. He turned off the horror flick, scrolled through Netflix, until he found a cooking competition to click on. It was different. Totally different. 

“We could make that,” said Tony, watching the contestants on the show. 

“Oh yeah, for sure,” said Peter, with complete confidence. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!!! <3 <3 <3 
> 
> comments and kudos let me know what you think!!


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